The Touch Ambassador

New Year Wishes

Depending on where you are in the world, it may already be 2007!  Here, on the West Coast it's late morning on Dec 31 and in 30 mins or so, I'll be leaving San Fran for the next leg of my trip.

I have been so TOUCHed this trip with people's kindness and generosity.  People have been offering me their futons, their cars, their fridges, their homes, their dinner table, their local knowledge, their social networks, their hospitality, their chauffeur services, their mom's home-baked biscuits, their wardrobes and most importantly their presence, warm-heartedness and sense of fun.

As a result, I am floating around the Bay Area wrapped in a blanket of kindness.

So my wish to you all is a simple one for 2007.  I wish that we all have the chance to touch and be touched by each other in connecting and uplifting ways in the year ahead.  I have a poster at home that says it all: "If we look after each other, we look after all humanity."

So, until the next post, carry on being great touch ambassadors !

San Fran granny

Hi blog-readers!  I probably forgot to mention that I'm away for a month with slightly patchy e-mail access - so I'll drop you a dispatch when I can!!  I've been catching up with some of my Cuddle Party friends in the Bay Area, so am walking around happy and well-hugged!  Within hours of landing and needing sunglasses (oh joy!)  I was going for an arm and arm walk around the bay with my two friends and watching the sun set over the water.  Hard to believe the day had begun at 6am in London! 

If you've ever been to San Francisco, you'll know that it is a very hilly city with roads shooting up at what seem like 45 degree gradients - a good cardio workout for even the young and fit among us.  Yesterday, I saw an elderly Chinese lady waddling up such a hill.  She wasn't balancing too well and was lurching with outstretched arms from lampost to tree to anything else on the steep way up that she could cling onto for dear life.  I did the San Fran version of helping an old lady across the road - I helped her up the hill (which at her pace took about 25 mins!).  I had a similar experience a day ago in the cinema where there was a wobbly gent who was clearly having problems getting off his seat - so it seems my Touch Ambassador role in San Fran has been about extending a helping hand to those wobbly on their feet.

So, until I write again, keep your eye open for the old and wobbly and offer them a warm, steady hand.  We can all be touch ambassadors!

Angel Walk

Before I launch into today's post, I want to say a thank you to my friend C. who told me that the author I mentioned yesterday who used laughter to cure himself was Norman Cousins.  It's great to have friends to step in and cover those patchy places in my memory!!!

So, today, is the final touch game you can use for a very special holiday gathering.

This one's called the Angel Walk and I experienced it with several hundred people at night on a beach in Israel.  Will work best with a sizeable group of people who are not time pressed and are comfortable touching and being touched!  You'll also need a room that's very long (or if the weather is warm enough, use the great outdoors).

This is how it works.  You need two facilitators.  The participants get into two equal lines with people from each line facing each other, so that you have a human tunnel effect.  Participants have their eyes closed for the duration of the exercise (only the two facilitators can open their eyes!)  One by one, each participant gets a chance to be the "angel".  The facilitator at the one end of the human tunnel holds the human angel in a very caring way and whispers to them that they are about to become an angel and their job as they walk very slowly through the tunnel is to receive all the love that people are going to want to pass on.  The facilitator can also improvise and whisper other things about what being an "angel" can mean for this person.  With eyes closed what happens next is a totally sensory and intuitive experience.  The facilitator hugs the angel and gently guides them to the first person in the tunnel.  The folks forming the tunnel touch the person in an intuitive way.  The whole pace is very slow and meditative.  The angel takes as long as they want to walk through and they may feel drawn to hugging people for minutes at a time or vice versa.  When they get to the end of the human tunnel, the second facilitator is there to catch them with a hug, tell them that they have finished and are now an angel (and the 2nd facilitator is free to whisper other endearing, sweet things to the new "angel").  The angel then takes their place at the end of the tunnel.  The activity continues until everyone has been through the tunnel.  A note for facilitators.  You can have several angels going through the tunnel at once, as long as there is adequate spacing between them.

The facilitators can also put a cloak, wreath, silk scarf, angel wings etc on the "angel" so they have a sense of being different as they walk down the angel aisle.

As the whole exercise takes place with closed eyes and more or less in silence, the other senses get heightened and intuition and energy come into play.  It sounds woo-woo, but I really got a sense of who I was drawn to touch (even without seeing them) and knew instinctively how to touch them.  The closed eye bit also made it interesting as I had no idea who these people were and it felt like we were all touching and connecting in a way far beyond the physical.  I guess, like angels ...

Laughing Tummy Pillow

Another bonding touch activity for seasonal get-togethers.

Experienced this one while at a yoga retreat in Nepal and we got introduced to "laughing meditation".  Everyone lies down with their head on someone's tummy (great pillow).  Someone starts to laugh like crazy - when they do this their belly will bounce up and down.  This is such a funny sensation that the person whose head is getting bounced up and down on that person's tum, will probably start chuckling/ laughing soon.  The laughter is very contagious and soon we were all crying with laughter!  Apart from the nice physical contact here, laughter is fabulous feelgood medicine.  In the same way as crying, it releases anything we're holding onto.  I read a book (sorry, it was a while ago so I can't remember the man's name, the title of the book or the illness he had).  However, he was seriously ill with something and chose to self-medicate by doing a lot of laughing every day, by watching comedy, telling jokes etc and it worked!  There are a host of articles online if you search for "laughter" and "medicine".  Here's one that I enjoyed!  Learn about how many calories per hour you can burn through laughing and about government funded laughter clinics!  http://www.isma.org.uk/stressnw/laughter.htm

You may like to add a twist to this activity by getting people in the laughter line to tell jokes or share funny stories.  Bonding, laughing and touch all at once.  A great cocktail for any party.

Ho ho - hee hee - HAHAHAHAHA !!

Huggy Bear!

A second touchy game to help group bonding at any of your festive gatherings!  This one's called "Huggy Bear". 

I used to play this when I was a kid.  But it's a great icebreaker for all age groups.  One facilitator is required.  All participants must feel OK about being hugged!!  Anyone who doesn't is best to be the facilitator.  The facilitator's job is to call out random numbers - ie 2, 4, 3, 7 etc.  Whatever number is called, people in the room have to get into groups of that number and hug.  If you want to be competitive, you can say that anyone getting left over is out (eg if there are 21 people in the room and you shout "4" - one person will be out).  If you want the emphasis to be more on hugs than having a "winner", forget about that and just keep shouting out different numbers, so everyone can circulate and get lots of group hugs.  Conclude by shouting out the number of people in the room - eg "29" - so the game ends in one big all-inclusive cuddle huddle.

Additional news today!  A 4 year-old in Waco, Texas has been suspended for hugging his teacher.  The teacher found the 4 year-old's touchy behaviour "sexual".  My friend J. who teaches 11 year-olds mentioned at the weekend how her kids are always attaching themself to her for cuddles, hugs and so forth (which she's fine with).  To me, it seems natural that if a kid feels safe with any adult figure and has a good relationship with them, they're likely to want to be affectionate.  J's rule of thumb is to be happily touchy back as long as it's in a classroom situation with other kids around, so she can't be accused of anything untoward.  A 1:1 situation with no one else around would be a "no no" for her.  Sounds very sensible to me! 

The LA Cuddle people have just opened an online store  (something I'd like to do in the near future for London).  They're selling the music they use at the parties, books that they think cuddlers will find useful and a bunch of downloads on relationship coaching topics.  Check it out at http://store.cuddlela.com/  And a weensy bit of market research for those based in the UK.  What kind of things would you like to see at a Touch Ambassador store (incorporating Cuddle Party and all forms of pleasant, welcomed, safe touch)?  What kinds of discussion topics would you like downloads on?  Feel free to either post your comment below or write to me privately! 

Cyberhugs to all until tomorrow, when I'll be back with another touchy group activity !!!

Enhancing seasonal get-togethers with touch

With the holiday season here and approaching, this week I'll be blogging about ways to create a warm 'n' fuzzy, bonding experience at seasonal get-togethers via various touch activities.

A journalist asked me "Why not cuddle your friends and family?"  Please DO cuddle your friends and family!  The activities I'll be outlining are a great way to shift relationships with those around you onto a touchier footing.

The first touch activity called "The King and Queen of Touch" is a German game.  Many thanks to the Cuddle Party-goer who told me about it!   Everyone forms a circle.  In turn everyone spends 5 mins in the centre of the circle.  During this time (depending on their gender) they become the King or Queen of touch.  Before the 5 mins begins, they quickly go through what kinds of touch they want/ don't want (so that the experience is yummy rather than torturous).  And then all the other guests treat them like royalty by lavishing them with loving, caring touch - ie - massages - hugs - playing with their hair - resting their hands on the King or Queen's shoulders etc.  When their 5 mins is up, the next person in the circle gets their 5 mins.  Repeat until everyone's had a chance to be King or Queen.

Enjoy!!  Personally, I can't wait to try this one out.  I once had six people giving me a 1min send off along the same lines and it felt pretty amazing.  So 5 mins must be heaven !!!

Coming tomorrow - another touch activity for seasonal get-togethers!

Quick PS

Actually, my brother called for a chat later on (oblivious to my blog) and after he explained some more, I came to the conclusion that his instincts were right.  So, all is forgiven !! It's good to have grounded folks around for a reality check. 

Cuddle PR

The phone rang just now.

It was my mother's voice and a very short sentence.  "We think it's too sleazy."

As we'd previously been chatting about what to buy her friend for her birthday, I was somewhat stumped at this inditement. 

"Pardon??"

Families have this comic way of talking in shorthand.  What it boiled down to was this.  A media proposal came in this afternoon for Cuddle Party that made me chuckle.  Not owning a TV, I thought I'd better get a second opinion.  Consulted with my little brother who not only owns a TV and watches lots of junk on it, but works in the media too. Perfect!  He opens my e-mail while on the phone to my mum, delivers his verdict to her and then she relays the family consensus back to me. 

A - ha. Interestingly, him and my mum both watch the "too sleazy" show.  Do people have double standards about what media they consume themselves and what media they'd be happy seeing their nearest and dearest in?

Amma Trivia

DID U KNOW ???

• Amma-chi - nicknamed the Indian hugging saint - has hugged over 25 million people.  That's more than the population of many countries !!
• Being a hugging saint is not a job for slackers - Amma has been known to work 20 hour days dispensing hugs.
• On a busy day, Amma is able to hug 50,000 people (so says her site www.amma.org ).  This got me reaching for the calculator.  Scarcely 1 second of hugging for each person and no toilet breaks for Amma!  Maybe group hugs were allowed ..

A NY Times reporter said: "She greeted each with a warm smile and outstretched arms. Each darshan resembled an embrace between two old friends who hadn't seen each other in years." (I'm guessing this wasn't on a hug-50,000-in-20-hours day or else she's truly mastered the gift of giving quality time and distiling something amazing into that 1 second).

A LA Times reporter talks of her: "cradling adults like babies, whispering comforting words and showering them with rose petals and, as a sweet offering, Hershey's Kisses."

Have you been hugged by Amma?  If so, tell us about it  !!!

Get Skinny With Cuddles!!!

There's a great new article on the Cuddle Party website about how cuddling can lead to weight loss.  Speaking of the site - if you're curious to see what a Cuddle Party looks like, click on the TV icon on the home page www.cuddleparty.com and you'll be transported to a recent party in New York (there's about 30 secs of commercial to watch first!)

So back to the article. 

THE CUDDLE PARTY DIET - Does Cuddling Lead to Weight Loss?
by Reid Mihalko and Marcia Bacyznski

For those of you who ate to much this Thanksgiving or who are
already strategizing a New Year's resolution to counteract all
the holiday sweets, you may want to try the latest thing: a new
weight-loss plan called the "Cuddle Party Diet." It's fantastic.
You make new friends, get some affection, and leave feeling
relaxed and elated. What could be better?

Humorous though it may sound, it could be true. A number of
recent studies have indicated that cuddling may actually help
you lose weight. But how can that be?

Continue reading at http://www.cuddleparty.com/articles/weightloss.cfm