The Touch Ambassador

This Year I Must ...

The complementary copy of NW (New Woman) magazine arrived along with a free necklace and we're on page 89 as part of a feature entitled "This Year I Must ...(This Year I Must Go To A Cuddle Party)"  The photo shows a lady a little scantier clad than Cuddle Party rules allow - so just for the record ladies, no nighties - you'll need PJ or tracky bottoms and a modest (ie - cleavage covering!) top.

Free Hugs In Trafalgar Square

How did it all begin??  Well, I celebrated my real birthday in Hawaii - which was absolutely wonderful (hugs, cuddles and a massage - what more could a Touch Ambassador ask for?!)

And I wanted to do something with the folks back home around the theme of "giving" as a belated celebration.  I thought originally that we'd offer ourselves to a local charity and let them find a project for us to do.  But on reading last week's article in The Times about their grassroots Free Hugs campaign, a seed of an idea began to sprout.  We'd give hugs!

When I explained what the afternoon's plan was, plenty of friends became "busy" or said they'd join us after the hugs..  It was going to be a mission of quality over quantity!

Anyway, a big thanks to friends L and T who were real troopers.  We had a great laugh!  L said it goes down on her list of the three weirdest things she's done in her life and she thanked me for stretching her boundaries in a good way.  T said she'd do it again!

Last night, I went online to see if there were any "how to organise free hug sites".  There was one which talked people through how to give a hug (ie you put your arms here and your head there) but I do all of that instinctively, so decided I was happy to go out there and make it happen as we went along.

If you want to organise a free hugs campaign this is what you do.

1 - Make signs that say "free hugs".  I used A4 card (from old notepads) and marker pens.  Took approx 5 mins to make. 

2 - Arrange for a buddy to offer free hugs alongside you (much more of a laugh, keeps it safe and the public get double or triple hugs!) 

3 - Choose a spot where there will be plenty of people passing by

4 - Have a hug with your other free-huggers to mark the beginning.

5 - Agree to a time frame.  An hour felt perfect (especially as it's chilly January)

6 - Display signs as you walk around.  Approach people and ask if they would like a hug.

So, this is how we got along!  By the end of our hour we felt like sociology professors as there were some obvious behaviour patterns..

a - All the people who looked like they needed hugs (ie - people who looked sad, downtrodden, heavy etc) said "no".  One guy in his 70s said he was too old to be hugged and shuffled away.  It made me sad that this old gentleman felt that he'd reached a point in life where he was beyond receiving love.

b - Women on their own or with other women generally all said no when approached.  At least 5 said: "I'm getting enough hugs, thank you."  We did however have some lovely women approach us.  A very huggy lady from Newcastle said everyone is much warmer up North.  We had a bunch of American students who called us the "Free Hug Girls" and wanted to do this back home in Boston.  A French lady got so excited as she said she'd had enough of unaffectionate English people and wanted to also do this back home.

c - Families with kids, couples and groups of friends were very receptive to us.  It seemed like it was the happy people who were more open to free hugs!  Various mums sent their offspring over to us for hugs and it was delicious to hug a toddling two-year old.

d - We noticed that we were causing people around us to hug.  Yay!!!  A ripple effect.

e - The most common questions we got were "Why Are You Doing This?"  People thought it was for charity and we wanted cash.  Our reply.  "To make the planet a happier place."  Next most common question: "Where are you from?"  Answer: South Africa and England.  Maybe this wasn't what was expected of Londoners!  Next question: "Where did the idea come from?"  For anyone organising free hug events, I advise writing blurb to hand out about its history.  By the 10th time I was telling Juan Mann's story, my mouth was getting dry (another tip - take a bottle of water with you - hugging and explaining why you're hugging can be thirsty work!)

f - Lots of people wanted photos of being hugged.  We will be appearing in photo albums in Australia, China, India, the US, Spain and plenty more countries (we soon lost track of all the people we were hugging, talking to and having pics with).  It sure is a great way to interact with lots of new people!

g - The receptive men generally saw our sign, smiled then stood their with outstretched arms saying "yes, please!"  They were all entirely appropriate.  There was one man who became a tad inappropriate after his hug.  He was watching us hug other people, saying he'd seen it on the net, but it was weird etc.  He then asked me how long I could hug him for.  I said that as we were about to head off (true statement) up to 60 secs.  When I hugged him, I felt him melt into the comfort of a hug.  He said "this feels so wonderful".  His tone was sincere.  Afterwards, he was trying to pick me up and that felt sleazy.  I told him that was not what free hugs were about.  I put his inappropriateness down to his social skills and the messages society gives out about touch being sexual.  For reasons like this, I'd encourage all free huggers (especially women) to work in pairs. 

Overall thoughts.  Fabulous!!!  Would certainly do it again!!  And would encourage anyone who is tempted to give it a try. 

More Media!

Apologies to those who tuned in at 10.15pm last night, as the show delayed the recording by an hour.  It all worked out for the best as I had a friend round for dinner and this meant that we were able to finish our Thai curry and fruit salad at a leisurely pace!  The interviewer was lovely and I could have talked forever!!  My 10 min spot flew by.

I'm yet to see it, but I know from people who've been e-mailing that there's something out in the March edition of NW (New Woman).  Looking forward to seeing what they had to say!

Two and a bit weeks before our first Cuddle Party of the year!  Am in the throes of organising a Free Hugs event with some friends over the weekend.  Will let you know how that goes!  We're likely to be giving out hugs in the Trafalgar Square area if you could use a few ...

Huggy stuff in the media

Back in the UK now!  Apparently there was a "Meet the people who pay £30 for a hug feature" about myself and my cuddle caddy Samantha Bennett in last week's "Love It" magazine.  So word is out to 400,000 more - even if it's in sensationalised tabloid form.  As REiD, the founder of Cuddle Party, would say "there's no such thing as bad publicity."

There's a great two page colour spread in today's Times (Times 2 section) about two reporters who mount a free hugs campaign within the square mile.  I chortled at various points as the humour was great.  The journalists' tone was that of optimism.  They both felt great afterwards and see the hug becoming part of mainstream British culture. Yabadabadoo!

My dad mentioned he heard an Archbishop (can't remember which one) on the radio saying how good hugs and touch are for us.  Word is seeping out into the great British public.  Oh joy!

I'm going to be on BBC London's Late Show (94.9FM) tomorrow at 10.15pm for a 10 min chat about Cuddle Parties. 

So, all is looking very cuddly in this chilly land!

PS - Video of the Times journalists can be seen at http://women.timesonline.co.uk/section/0,,23789,00.html

Cuddles 4 Health

It's often said that hugs and cuddles boost immune system function.  I got to scientifically test this for myself during my travels!  I was staying in Volcano village in Hawaii - which was just that - a village in the middle of nowhere (but near an active volcano!).  I started to get that familiar itch in the back of my throat synonymous with getting sick.  I'd been around a bunch of people a week earlier who'd had the flu and I did not want to succumb.  My vitamin c tabs and echinacea were about 8,000 miles away in my London kitchen.  The only store in the village was closed for the night.  There was only one thing left to do.  Put hug therapy to the test!! 

I had a very obliging and huggable travel companion who kept me wonderfully wrapped and medicated with cuddles.  About an hour into the "treatment" I reported my throat felt better.  And whenever a slight tickle came back, we dosed up with more hugs. 

The verdict: it worked!  I sneezed exactly once and had no other cold symptoms.  By the next day, the I-might-be-getting-something feeling had vanished.  All that hugging obviously also boosted my companion's antibodies as he didn't catch whatever it was that I was fighting.

I'll still maintain that it's not "hygienically savvy" (Cuddle Party rule #13) to come to a Cuddle Party if you have something contagious, however this is a wonderful one to try out at home with your nearest and dearest (if they are obliging) and if the village store is shut !!

Thanks T !

The Dolphin Cuddle Party

For a while, swimming with the dolphins has been on my "to do" list.  And here I am in the Big Island of Hawaii about to make it a reality.  I'm on a small boat and am hypnotised by the peaceful, undulating movement of the dolphins as they swim alongside us.  Our guide, "China Mike", estimates that we're surrounded by a pod of 200 spinner dolphins.  He also tells us how dolphins are very tactile and love to nuzzle and make physical contact with each other.

I'm on the edge of the boat with my fins and snorkel set and "plop" I am in the not so warm water where the current is a little strong.  I'm moving my arms and legs, but my body is not propelling through the water.  "China Mike" comes to the rescue with touch and puts his arm around my waist and guides (pulls?!) me through the water - pointing in various directions so that I get to see all of the dolphin action.

About 20 feet below us there is a huge circle of dolphins and they are all nuzzling into each other and forming a globe of interconnectedness.  Later Mike describes this to the boat as a "dolphin love pod" - having a different reference I know that our aquatic friends were having their version of a Cuddle Party!

Before the trip, I thought it would be cool to hug or pat a dolphin!  Alas, this was not to be as wild dolphins have no immunity to human bacteria, so our experience was strictly hands off.  A few miles down the road in the five star hotel it is possible to hug/ pat the resident dolphins, because they are being dosed with antibiotics constantly.  It made me sad to hear that dolphins are getting cranked with meds, so that we can be touchy with them.  I loved the reverse emphasis of Mike's trip (www.sunlightonwater.com)  - we are guests in the dolphins' world - so be reverent, respectful and non-intrusive.   

A New Way

I was at a talk involving Palestinian and Israeli women.
"Tell the world to stop supplying Israel with weapons," implored a Palestinian woman.
"And tell the world to stop arming our enemies, too!" retaliated an Israeli woman.
And then a beautiful soft voice spoke up.
"ARMS should only be used for hugging each other with".
Hear, hear....